Updated: Dec 15, 2024
by Delia Grenville
Tune In: Embracing Permission Fluidity and Self-Care
In this episode of To Live List, I explore a topic that feels both deeply personal and universally relevant: the idea of permission. As I recorded this episode, I found myself unexpectedly nervous— that's rare for me when podcasting. Rather than push the nerves aside, I embraced them as part of the experience, granting myself the permission to feel what I was feeling. And that became a fitting segue into the heart of this episode's discussion: how we give ourselves permission to live fully.
Permission: More Than a Buzzword
When we think about the word “permission,” it often feels tied to external forces—parents, teachers, employers, or society. Many of us grow up with permission being “outsourced,” a structure managed by others to shape our decisions and behaviors. As adults, though, the responsibility shifts to us, yet we don’t always recognize it. Are we granting ourselves the freedom to live in alignment with our desires, needs, and values?
Keke Palmer on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Nov 18th, 2024
Permission Lists: A Starting Point
While reflecting on this topic, I stumbled across lists online—collections of affirmations that remind us of what we’re allowed to do. Here’s a small sample:
You are allowed to rest.
You are allowed to change your mind.
You are allowed to take up space.
You are allowed to prioritize yourself.
You are allowed to say no.
It struck me how often we deny ourselves these basic freedoms, even though they’re essential for living a full life.
Permission Fluidity: A New Perspective
As I unpacked the concept further, a new term came to mind: permission fluidity. This idea acknowledges that the boundaries of permission aren’t static—they ebb and flow depending on circumstances, relationships, and our internal compass. Being permission-fluid means recognizing when to lean into your autonomy and when to honor the needs and boundaries of others.
For example:
Are you giving yourself the permission to rest without guilt?
Are you allowing those around you to make decisions for their happiness, even if it impacts you?
Living fully requires balancing these dynamics—giving and receiving permission with care and mutual respect.
Why Permission Matters Post-Pandemic
The pandemic reshaped our lives in countless ways. For many, it brought unrelenting pressures and a loss of control. As we navigate life after such a seismic shift, it’s crucial to reassess how we treat ourselves and others. Are we still stuck in survival mode, or can we now embrace the opportunity to reset and live more intentionally?
A Call to Action: Create Your Own Permission List
In the spirit of the To Live List, I encourage you to explore your own “permission list.” Think of this as a living document—a set of affirmations that you can revisit and revise as needed. Here are some prompts to get started:
What have you been denying yourself that you’re ready to allow?
How can you practice permission fluidity in your daily life?
What small steps can you take to prioritize self-care?
To Live List, Season 2, Episode 1 intro
A Period of Opportunity
As we look toward the future, I encourage you to see this as a period of opportunity. Grant yourself the permission to pause, reflect, and take intentional steps toward living your best life. Remember: self-care isn’t selfish, and growth often begins with small, deliberate choices.
Listen and Share
If this resonates with you, I’d love for you to share this episode with someone who might need it. You can find To Live List on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or at tolivelist.com. Let’s spread the word about embracing permission fluidity and creating lives filled with joy, love, and laughter.
Until next time, take care of yourself—and give yourself permission to truly live.
Updated: Mar 30
Introduction:
Language has a fascinating way of evolving over time, with words taking on new meanings and nuances. The word “bully” is a prime example of this evolution. From a term of endearment to a symbol of intimidation, the history of “bully” is a journey through the changing tides of language and culture.
The Origin of “Bully”:
The word “bully” can be traced back to the Dutch word “boel,” which originally meant “lover” or “brother.” In the 16th and 17th centuries, “bully” was used in English to describe a sweetheart or a close companion. It was a term of affection, a far cry from its current connotation.
A Timeline of “Bully”:
16th-17th Century: A Term of Endearment
“Bully” is used to refer to a fine fellow or a good friend.
Example: “He’s a jolly good bully, that one.”
18th Century: Shifting to Bravado
The word starts to describe those who exhibit swagger, bravado, or boastful behavior.
Example: “He’s quite the bully with his confident demeanor.”
19th Century: The Negative Connotation
“Bully” begins to take on a darker meaning, representing someone who uses strength or influence to intimidate or harm others.
Example: “Watch out for that bully; he’s causing trouble in the pub.”
20th Century: Schoolyard and Workplace Bullying
“Bully” is associated with those who engage in schoolyard bullying and workplace harassment.
Example: “Bullying in schools is a serious issue; we must address it.”
21st Century: The Era of Cyberbullying
“Bully” becomes linked with online harassment and cyberbullying.
Example: “Online bullies can be as harmful as physical bullies, causing emotional distress.”
Slang Usage of “Bully” Throughout History:
British slang has often embraced the word “bully” in various contexts.
“Bully pulpit” is a term referring to a position that provides one with the opportunity to speak out and be heard, often in a commanding or influential way.
Conclusion:
The journey of the word “bully” is a testament to the malleability of language. From its Dutch origins as a term of endearment to its evolution into a symbol of intimidation, the history of “bully” reflects shifts in culture, societal attitudes, and the complex nature of language itself. As with many words, understanding its history reminds us of the power of language to convey evolving meanings and reflect our changing world.
For Additional Resources,
Download my Safe Workplaces Resource Guide
Updated: Mar 30
Today I am sharting the note I wrote and wished that I sent to my son's music teachers. Somehow you hope that those instructors know that they make a difference. For all of the teachers out there, I hope our letter about our son is an acknowledgement from all the students who you've taught along the way. Music education transforms a student in many ways. We are so grateful for all that you do.
Hello music teachers,
We’d like to invite you to Jason’s senior showcase performance 2:30 pm on Saturday, June 3rd, at his high school.
To catch you up a bit, Jason continued on with music education though his secondary school career. Finally landing on voice and chamber choir by the end of junior year. He even entered the NATS Musical Theater competition. He placed 1st at State, and 3rd at regionals (OR, BC, WA, OR) in Upper Level Division, Tenor, Baritone, Bass. His high school chamber choir received its first invitation to the State completion in more than a decade. They placed 16th, making them a top 20 choir. Oregon has 124 choirs statewide.
Jason was cast as a principle in every show in Senior year. His focus on choir, theater, and musicals, has given him a deep appreciation for his musical education and a hunger for what he has yet to learn.
He was accepted into the Theater Arts Program, Musical Theater Concentration at Howard University, however, he decided not to go far from home. He is going to University of Oregon where he is currently undecided but plans to include music in his studies.
We are confident that this path of academic and personal discovery is the best option for him. He practices (piano, voice, ukulele) on his own. Listens to recordings, pulls out voicing, and invites friends over to harmonize while he comps on piano and sings.
Jason remembers and laughs at the days where he, his sister, and I practiced ear training at home, learned intervals, and I had to be so strict to get them to do their practice sessions. Recently, he told me, “I wish I was a better sight reader.” Alas, there is still time.
Jason has a lot to learn but he is willing. It has been amazing to watch this kid who took so many bathroom breaks in lessons, finally settle into finding joy in the camaraderie, execution, and performance of music and theater.
The program for Saturday’s June 3rd’s performance is attached. All are welcome.
We are so thankful for the role that each of you played in getting Jason to where he is today.
Practice sessions, scales, and sometimes pleading to get it done all added up to such a beautiful set of accomplishments. If only we had known, we might have enjoyed the process a bit more. In the end, our son has the building blocks that he needs. Music changed his perspective about what it takes to pursue a goal. He knows that pursuing a goal takes time, energy, love, and people who will support you. Sticking with a goal takes courage and the ability to trust the process, even when you might feel things aren't moving forward. Music education provides huge life lessons and the gift of learning how to appreciate what it takes to make music.
Parents hang in there. Support any positive interest that your child may have for their music education. Music education is a journey. Go along for the ride.
