Last year, my heart was so full. After 3 years of separation, I flew to Canada to meet up with my sisters for my Dad's 80th birthday. I surprised him. I called him from the Toronto airport with my husband on the line and we delivered our birthday wishes together. He thought we were both at home on the west coast.
My Dad was shocked when a few hours later, I popped out from the kitchen to ask him if he wanted to have some Swiss Chalet for lunch. He was stunned. And, we captured, his recollection of the surprise. We messed up the filming of the actual moment. But, maybe that's for the best. Some moments are meant to be experienced and not recorded. .
During my latest trip home, this summer, I surprised my Dad at work. The funniest part of the visit is how quickly our roles reversed. Dad was like middle schooler whose space had been invaded. Dad was quick to get rid of me after twenty minutes with his coworkers . His coworkers are so welcoming, They group called on his 80th, they came out en force when our mother died, and they regaled me with amusing work stories when I visited.
The most important part of the equation is health, of course. My Dad loves being able. He loves going to work because his job is a forced fitness routine. We've talked about what it means to get older and he always comes back to appreciate for your health, keeping your body moving, and have somewhere to go or something to do that gives you purpose.
This is my dad and his work buddy. These two are in their 80s. Wait what??? We all have #goals. Please add 80 being the new 60s to you list. Love you Dad. Thanks for always standing for what you believe.
Updated: May 21
I can’t say exactly how many times I have written about "the slap-down." More than a dozen times including comments on social. The story consumes us. From my lens as an integral coach, I see Will's lack of life integration, front and foremost — he is compartmentalized: his career and marriage, at odds. I hope these parts of life get better for him in the future.
Let's face it. The Oscar incident demonstrates that Will, like many of us, has never been "all together."
I am not condoning what Will did when he had his very public, human, broken moment. Under pressure, Will Smith unraveled.
Our society purports that money and accomplishments mitigate human failings. Band-Aids them, maybe. But heals them, almost never. The work to heal your trauma is your work.
So where do we go from here? We focus on our collective selves and why this incident has garnered so much attention in a post-pandemic, divided, war-torn world. Perhaps, we are drawn to the story because we understand what it is like to be under pressure. More importantly, we know what it feels like when pressure no longer holds us together.
Updated: Jun 11
Recently, two people asked me, “What I wanted?" One person is a new colleague who helps organizations build great conversations. So, I believe this type of inquiry is his practice. The other is a peer running a successful coaching business who is helping me with opportunities in my own development. What a privilege 1) to be asked what I wanted, 2) to know what I wanted, and 3) to say what I wanted. Nature vs Nurture From my perspective as an integral coach, I understand that lifetime patterns can occur. And, I also understand that those patterns can occur in the context of how each of us processes our experiences. The nature vs nature debate applies to almost every characteristic, behavioral pattern, and choice we make.
So yes, what a privilege 1) to be asked what I wanted, 2) to know what I wanted, and 3) to say what I wanted. It was a privilege to step away from my familiar pattern and to chose desire over duty. Raise your hand if you've stepped away from a familiar pattern and you can relate.
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